Progress, (3)

3 pounds

Pounds Lost This Week: 3
Total Lost: 13
Pounds Left to Goal: 37

I am starting to feel frustrated. Not with my progress or my methods, but with myself. Last week I said I was eager to lose another 10 pounds so that I could get back to the weight I was when I was last trying to lose. But I am terrible at math. I am actually 20 pounds away from that goal. What I am saying is that I let myself put on over 20 pounds since the last time I said to myself, “I have got to deal with this.” That’s frustrating. I am making progress, but I am just undoing the damage I have done in the last two years. I am not really making any new progress.

I guess the fact is that this weight thing has always been about a lot more than just my physical world. I have let my body control my mind, my emotions, and my spirit. I feel like in some ways, I am conquering that for the first time, even though this isn’t the first time I have tried to lose weight. I am building a team of support that is bigger and more diverse and more dynamic than it has been before. I am listening to my body. I am trying new things (kickboxing, cycling, swimming). I am not cheating.

I have recorded all my workouts on a calendar this month. When I look back on February, I see 6 rest days. On average, I have exercised 5 days a week (sometimes more). That is a victory. That is a lifestyle change. That is a sustainable habit. (More on that later).

I have to accept the fact that in some ways, I have sabotaged myself. I ignored myself and in doing so, made it that much more difficult for me to win in this. But I believe the mistakes of yesterday cannot conquer my spirit today. Sure, if I would have started this journey two years and twenty pounds ago, I would be further along. But I tried this two years ago and I was not the person I am today. It is the person I am today who is growing, learning, and making progress. It is slow progress, but it is deliberate. And I am the one making it happen.

Next Monday, I’ll post about how February Food Resolution and share some plans for March. Thanks for coming along!

2 thoughts on “Progress, (3)

  1. Love how you say sustainable! That is our biggest challenge, we want to adapt our diet to something we can live with forever and that is so hard! Keep uo the good work!

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