I don’t know why I can’t figure myself out.
I mean, I’ve been myself for almost 25 years. You would think that in that time, I would have learned something about myself.
This is all to say my paleo challenge is going, well, it’s not going.
I am not one for programs. I am not one to say “I can always have this” or “I can never have this.”
This whole thing was probably a bad idea and instead of feeling guilty about not following through on it, I am going to say, “I tried it. Not for me.”
So technically this is another thing I am quitting, but in 8 days I have not had one single completely paleo day. It does not feel very realistic for me. So, I am going to take what I am calling the “Katie Day Approach”: Eat smart. Eat when you’re hungry. Eat what you know is good for you. Sometimes that is something that comes from a box that you put in the microwave. Sometimes it is fruit. Sometimes it is protein. Sometimes it is a damn carb.
I also lasted two days tracking my food.
I am working on getting some more realistic expectations in place for what I am capable of. I have also really slouched off posting my progress every Monday which I think was doing a really good job of keeping me accountable. I am going to get back to that.
This has been a post.
I have GOT to get a better attitude.
Not just about this weight loss thing (or lack thereof) but everything. Everything, everything.
I need a pick me up. So that is what I am going to do. Instead of whining, dwelling, analyzing why I feel gunky- I am going to move on. I am going to do something creative. I am going to eat something yummy and healthy. I am going to take a nap when I am tired. Drink water when I am thirsty. Run when it feels good. Walk when I need to.
That sounds so easy, but I know better. Why is it hard to be gentle on ourselves?
When I started this weight loss journey my friend Rachel L. seemed a little, well… not leery, but cautious. Instead of out and out encouraging me to lose weight, she kept reminding me that she needed to take an entire year to “love herself.” She gained a little weight in the process but came out feeling healthier than ever. (And she’s quite healthy.) It sounded very nice, but did not seem entirely relevant to me. But now I get it. She totally understood what I did not, which is that a person can be rough on themselves.
Sometimes to move forward, you really have to pause. Be present where you are and then step forward. I am trying to make some positive changes in a lot of areas of my life and this message needs to pervade my thoughts. I am okay where I am and it is my choice to change directions. The choice is okay. The change is okay. I am okay.
I am going to try to be proactive about all this in the coming week. Firstly, I am going to make something. I think I am going to make this:
The full tutorial is here (or click on the image). I am a pretty novice seamstress, but the instructions are really clear and straight forward. It is an adorable bag and will be perfect for toting my sunscreen and beach towel to the marina this summer!
I also have a date to bike to the Farmer’s Market with a friend this weekend. I am going to try to keep blogging and blogging about things other than losing weight. I am also going to stop making so many resolutions. Except maybe this one: